No Longer a Planet
by Don Thackrey
The folks on Earth sent Pluto some bad news
That he must suffer one more ego bruise,
He drew on his philosophy—and booze—
To shake off insecurity and lose
His status calmly. As a lesser god,
He knew the other eight would scarcely nod
To him. They now, for sure, would stamp rough-shod
Upon his pride, especially Mars, that clod.
“Because of ice,” he said, “they took away
My planethood and left me déclassé.
Still I’m the coolest cat in orbit. Hey,
Dude, I’m far out! and out is where I’ll stay.”